Steven B.

Darren dreams of becoming the world’s greatest rock guitarist and dating blonde stunner Paige Turner. Forced to a car boot sale by his mum, Darren stumbles across a magic pendant which teleports him across space and time to a barn where the all-gnome band ‘Gnomads’ is practising. The gnomes are very friendly, but have little talent. Darren discovers the pendant doesn’t work a second time, and he must turn this band into a huge success if he’s ever going to get home to his beloved games console.

Well hung and left for dead, Throb Hammerdong is quite annoyed.... Barbarian quarry worker Throb wakes up one day to find himself hanging by his neck from a bridge. Luckily for us, he doesn't die, but instead sets out on a quest for revenge. Accompanied by his loyal crew and armed only with the latest weapons, a full stomach and regular, almost constant sex, Throb must survive attack by bandits, go shopping and sit through the worst live porn show on earth, before facing his enemies.

A thousand years have passed since the ancient mages removed magic from the world. Now a young man rises from his earthly tomb bearing all of their powers vowing to kill the Emperor. Princess Oleana-tarli schemes in her own prison, plotting to seize the king’s crown for herself. She is friendless and alone, until a dream sends her in search of a legendary beast. Two wizards of the Empire journey in search of knowledge. But the world is a dangerous place and their powers are only just emerging.

In a world where souls are stolen at birth, two children and their primate friend stand ready to fight for the freedom of emotion. GAREN: Full of adventurous dreams, Garen is unaware of the future the mysterious Brotherhood have laid out for him. SCIEL: One of only a few Teff left that is not bound by slavery, Sciel is an ape-like creature who's loyal to his friend and always hungry. KYMAR: Hidden from the Brotherhood, Kymar is now an orphan. Someone is going to pay for her loss.

Wayland Snowball doesn't want much from life. A fast car, huge amounts of money, and two gorgeous women with big... personalities. Unfortunately, Wayland is one of life's losers; a shallow and work-shy youth whose only purpose in life seems to be to get drunk, upset people and try to find a way for his only friend to lose his virginity. But with a bit of luck, lots of luck and unbelievable amounts of luck, even he may make something of himself. This is a novel for mature readers only!